The Timesheet

March 2007

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 12:03:15 -0800

Dan Klau's Billable Hour Blues New at the Billable Hour Music Store
Our Music Store got off to a great start last month, with CDs by the Bar & Grill Singers and Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury. We're pleased to announce that singer/songwriter/pianist Dan Klau is the newest addition to the Billable Hour Music Store.

It only took Dan fourteen years of private practice�and thirteen of therapy (just kidding!)�to figure out that the best way to deal with the Sturm and Drang of the law was to find the humor in it. So that�s what he did. In his debut CD, The Billable Hour Blues, a collection of original songs and musical parodies, Dan sings about the trials and tribulations of being a young associate, lawyers who couldn�t give a client a straight answer if their lives depended on it, the joy of bringing someone to the brink of tears during cross-examination, and more. Whether you are looking for belly laughs, or just a few gentle chuckles to brighten your day, The Billable Hour Blues is sure to please.

The Billable Hour Blues includes:

The Billable Hour Blues
That's Litigation
Bush v. Gore
Light of Day
Easy to Sue
It Depends
Have a Subpoena, Lena
The Blues, the Whole Blues, and Nothing But the Blues
The Associate Song
State v. Courchesne
Norm Pattis

Visit our website for song samples. The Billable Hour Music Store is at www.TheBillableHour.com/music.php.

Target Fixation
by Julie Fleming Brown
In World War II, fighter pilots spoke of the danger of target fixation. During bombing runs, pilots could become so focused on their targets that they�d dive, drop a bomb on the target, and yet remain so intent on hitting the target that they�d fail to pull up in time. They�d end up hitting their target and killing themselves. Although they would have achieved their mission, they wouldn�t survive to fly the next one or even to celebrate their accomplishment.

What does this have to do with practice?

Imagine a lawyer�let�s call her Mary�who is so focused on making partner that everything else recedes. She spends the hours between 7 AM and 7:30 PM in the office on weekdays and at least 6 hours a day there on weekends. When she isn�t at work, she�s either working at home or thinking about work. When she meets someone, she immediately thinks about how they might fit into her goal, whether as a potential client, referral source, or otherwise. Perhaps she�s married, perhaps she has children, and if so, her family is important to her and yet they�re accustomed to her missing dinner or school plays and being busy for "just a few more minutes" when she�s home. Mary doesn�t go out to lunch unless there�s a reason, and she feels that exercise is just a waste of time that she could use for work or for marketing. Her office looks like a tornado hit it, but she doesn�t stop to clean up until she starts to lose things on her desk. She�s generally known as a nice person, but when she gets stressed, she�s liable to snap at her colleagues and the support staff�and she gets stressed rather often. Vacations are important to her, but all too often she feels that she�s just moved her work from the office to a spot off-site.

And then, Mary makes partner. Though she may fantasize about cutting back, chances are good that she won�t. After all, her hard work put her ahead of the pack, and letting up now would knock her off her game.

And then, something happens. Maybe a parent gets sick, maybe a child, or maybe it�s Mary. Maybe something goes wrong at the office, or perhaps she just stops one day and thinks wistfully about her life Before, when she used to enjoy talking long walks through the neighborhood at dawn to get her heart pumping. Perhaps she wonders what happened, when she quit spending time on non-work things.

Mary is a victim of target fixation.

None of us can function well as a single-dimension individual. We need input on the intellectual level, but we also need to pay attention to our emotions, our body, and our spirit. Although it�s possible to neglect those domains, their weakness will eventually bleed over and reduce the effectiveness of the intellectual output, simply because there�s nothing to sustain it. Another word for target fixation is burnout, the moment when we experience having poured an unsustainable amount of energy into one area of life to the detriment of other areas. It�s crash-and-burn success.

Work/life balance prevents burnout by nourishing all areas of life, though perhaps not in equal proportions. Some people really love their work and would feel lost if required to cut back and others feel pushed to work so much that important areas of their lives are neglected. Of course, what�s tricky is that the extreme lawyer may feel restless if he "only" works 60 hours in a week, whereas the more traditionally "balanced" lawyer may start to get antsy and worn out if she sees no choice but to work 60 hours.

Bottom line: define your own balance between work and life, or recognize that your work is your life and work/life describes a continuous, integral whole. Whatever you decide, though, be on the lookout for target fixation�and pull up well before you crash.

Julie Fleming Brown provides professional and personal coaching for lawyers on topics such as client and professional development, job searches, career transitions, and work/life balance. She is also certified to provide the DISC� assessment. Please visit http://www.LifeAtTheBar.com/ for more information and to arrange a complimentary coaching exploration session.

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Ant the Johnnie Goes to . . .
by Sean Carter
Every February, millions of Americans tune in to watch my least favorite awards show�the Oscars. Now, don�t get me wrong. I like viewing Halle Berry in an evening gown as much as the next guy. Actually, considering that I�ve been married to the same woman for 14 years, 8 months, 16 days and 7 hours (but who�s counting?), I must confess that I like watching Ms. Berry probably more than the next guy.

What bothers me about the Oscars is that the purpose of the show is to recognize the "outstanding achievements" of an industry that, this year, financed and produced such classics as Rocky VI and Jackass 2. As I see it, recognizing the cinematic genius of those in Hollywood is like recognizing the estate planning genius of Anna Nicole Smith�s legal team.

However, I�m most disturbed by the fact that the legal profession has no equivalent awards ceremony. Surely, if the members of the "prestigious" screen actors guild can take the time off from rehab to honor their peers throughout the entire first two months of the year, we can have at least one Oscar-style event to honor the contributions of the vanguards of the justice system. After all, without us, who would defend the thousands of people wrongly accused of crimes, the millions of people sued each year in civil actions, and the tens of millions of men currently claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith�s baby?

Seriously, our profession does a woeful job of recognizing its own. Perhaps, that explains the high rate of lawyer dissatisfaction. For instance, as a speaker at legal events, I regularly receive more praise and appreciation after a one-hour speech than I did for the entire ten years I practiced law. After a talk, I�m often asked to sign autographs. On countless occasions, people have asked to take pictures with me. And on four occasions (not that I�m counting), I�ve received indecent proposals from particularly appreciative female members of the audience.

Now, perhaps it had something to do with my mediocre performance as a lawyer, but in ten years of practice, I never once had anyone ask me to autograph a purchase agreement for them. Likewise, I never had anyone say, "You were so good in that negotiation. Can I take a picture with you?" And not once did anyone ever say, "You were so sexy in that closing. Will you sleep with me?" Of course, given the fact that most of my colleagues were balding, middle-aged men, that is probably a good thing. However, it would have been nice to have been asked . . . at least once.

And while I�m certainly not suggesting that we turn our law firms into discos ("Great brief! Your place or mine?"), I am suggesting that we show each other more appreciation; if only for one night each year. After all, even pimps hold an annual Players Ball where they honor their best and brightest. Now, I know it�s a lot to ask that we have as much self-respect as pimps, but why can�t we have our own annual awards event in which we get dressed up and hand out awards to each other?

That�s why I�m proposing that we hold our own Justice Awards next February. We can hold it at the Supreme Court Building in Washington, D.C. I can just see it now. We would all arrive in chauffeur-driven Toyota Camrys. The evening�s nominees would walk down the red carpet in their three-piece charcoal gray suits and knee-length skirts and business jackets. All the while their young associates would scream from behind the barricades: "Do you still need the Thompson brief done in the morning?" "Can I have Christmas off?"

Needless to say, I would emcee the event and kick off the festivities with a lively monologue containing awkward jokes about people in attendance and desperate pleas to buy my book (which, by the way, is on sale again this week on Amazon.com). Then we could get down to handing out the "Johnnies" (named for the late Johnnie Cochran) to deserving nominees in such categories as "Best Defense of a Guilty Celebrity," "Most Appearances on Larry King," and "Most Convincing Toupee." Oh, what a night!

And while you may think my suggestion for a Justice Awards event is ridiculous, it is no more ridiculous than the fact that I regularly receive more praise and appreciation for an hour of telling jokes than most lawyers ever receive for a lifetime of contribution to our legal system. As I see it, if anyone is going to be receiving standing ovations, autograph requests, and indecent proposals from inebriated fans, it should be you and not me. After all, I am happily married. Even more importantly, I reside in a community property state. Need I say anything more?

Sean Carter, Humorist at Law, is a syndicated columnist and popular speaker who presents Comedic Legal Education programs for law firms, in-house legal departments and bar associations across the country. Sean is also the author of If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit? Your Humorous Guide to the Law.

The More the Merrier: CD Sets Are a Smart Buy

Can't decide which of our hilarious CDs to buy? Why not try one of our new CD sets? When you buy any of these four great sets, you get 10% off the price of the CDs if purchased separately: The Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury 2 CD Set includes Wingtips Optional and 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul�30 songs in all.

Not enough songs for you? We have two 3 CD sets.

The Bar & Grill Singers 3 CD Set includes Licensed to Grill, A Time to Grill and Grilling Me Softly�a total of 40 songs.

The Billable Hour 3 CD Set includes one CD from each of our artists that features a song about our favorite subject: the billable hour. This set includes Grilling Me Softly by the Bar & Grill Singers (featuring the Cyndi Lauper-inspired I'm Billing Time); 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury (featuring the Dylan-esque Every Minute Must Get Billed; and The Billable Hour Blues by Dan Klau (featuring�what else?�The Billable Hour Blues). You'll love all 39 songs in this set!

The mother of all legal humor CD sets is our Whole Shebang 6 CD Set. This set includes all of the CDs we carry�Licensed to Grill, A Time to Grill and Grilling Me Softly by the Bar & Grill Singers; Wingtips Optional and 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury; and The Billable Hour Blues by Dan Klau. You'll laugh till you're red in the face as you listen to the 81 songs in this set.

You can find all of these sets in the Billable Hour Music Store

How Law Schools Fail Their Students
by Mark Solomon
Ann Althouse�s Op-Ed column in the February 20, 2007 New York Times, "'A Skull Full of Mush'" (if you're a Times Select member, use this link to view the whole article) provides a springboard for serious debate about the relationship between law school, the art of law, and the profession of law. My sense is that it is the rare law student who becomes frustrated that the law school curriculum tends to squelch personal expression. Most of us enter law school with the idea that we will learn new skills of oral and written advocacy, new ideas about what the law can and cannot do for our clients and society as a whole, and its practical application in "real world" situations.

Every mature artist understands that the road to true self expression is paved with mastery of the venerable traditions of the art�the law is no exception. I would argue that self expression in the law lies with the individual attorney�s own practice, whether found in a particular field or specialty, a creative interpretation and novel application of legal precedents, or a unique style of courtroom advocacy.

The real source of discontent among law students, I�m afraid, is the utter failure of law schools to educate our future attorneys in the profession. Law schools do a wonderful job of laying the foundations of a practice with core courses in constitutional law, contracts, torts, criminal law and the like. Some schools have valuable trial advocacy programs, clinics, and local practice courses. But law schools leave their graduates literally and figuratively without a roof over their heads. That is the source of the law students� sense of disconnect with the real world.

My connection to the real world is through my clients. Law school didn�t teach me how to get clients, how to market my services to the public I was trained to serve. How do I open a law office, what supplies and resources do I need in my office, what should my office look like to appeal to my clients and my need for a comfortable workspace? Do I need malpractice insurance, how much, where do I get it and what should it cost to buy? What business records should I be keeping? How do I balance my books?

Considering the draconian penalties that are routinely imposed upon lawyers who inadvertently make even the smallest mistake in their escrow account, it is incomprehensible to me that at least one semester of the required curriculum of every law school isn�t devoted to law office accounting. Marketing and management courses are equally essential to a complete legal education.

Years ago I had dinner with my former torts professor, and proposed this program to him. He dismissed the idea, saying: "we�re not running a trade school." If law schools continue to adhere to this ivory tower mentality, they will continue to cheat their students, who did, in fact, come to learn the profession of the law, not some impractical academic abstraction.

Juris Comic

The Business of Being Negative
by Robert Pladek
We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic, and positive equals unrealistic.
~Susan Jeffers

Civility and the lack thereof are in the news again.

On Feb. 22 the media was all over the opening salvos of the Barack Obama (BO) Hollywood following sniping at the Clinton Corporation (CC) and its own film stars, BO David Geffen reminding us that the senior CC member and first CC president had/has a few personal ethical issues. Would-be second CC President Hilary Clinton, appearing with her one-time shill George Stephanopoulos, admonished the BO camp, bemoaning what will surely be the mildest example of negative campaigning to come.

Twenty months from election day, it is important to begin lowering public expectations of civility, lest the National Enquire-ish content of the final few weeks truly disgust us all. Nobody enjoys the voting booth decision on which candidate is (a) the most personally revolting/unethical/back-stabbing, or (b) has been the subject of the most personally revolting/unethical/back-stabbing. Especially since we tend to believe most or all that crap about them.

That negative campaigning is so uniformly decried but methodically employed by the very same people tells much about its effectiveness. Candidates distance themselves from it while demanding it go on unabated.

The study of negativity is fascinating, though some of the fun stuff gets lost when social scientists start buzz-wording. Any time you close your office door, are one of two heads moving closer together in a cafeteria, forward the same old joke or laugh while watching television�any and all television �you are participating in the culture of negativism. Paul S. Martin�s buzzy but insightful "Inside the Black Box of Negative Campaign Effects: Three Reasons Why Negative Campaigns Mobilize Political Psychology," Journal of Communication 56 (2006) 27-51, notes the following:

Research in experimental social psychology has consistently found that negative information has a stronger impact than positive information on how people process information, from initial attention to information to its subsequent recall.

Plus . . .

There is overwhelming evidence both in the research reviewed above and in the present study that negative information attracts attention, whether automatically or consciously. Attention, however, does not necessarily lead to persuasion . . . the average negative campaign may not work as intended, that is, to lower the target candidate�s evaluations. Among voters who are politically sophisticated and strongly committed to the candidate, it might strengthen the evaluation of the candidate who is the target of a negative campaign.

And finally, this:

The results of our study do not rule out the possibility that political campaigns suffer from too much negativity with detrimental long-term consequences for the political system.

That last one isn�t especially relevant to my limited diatribe, but it was phrased so, scientifically, with just that touch of future horror, that I had to include it.

In addition to the ever-burgeoning profession of negative-advertisers and their country cousins, anti-negative-advertisement spinners, a whole industry of "Civility Experts" have grown along with them, teaching the business and professional communities lessons they�ve forgotten from childhood. That such a trade can flourish is a sad testament to human interaction in general, but, I suppose, a positive and apparently necessary development. Thankfully we have the capitalist mentality to so react.

Civility Associates, Bremer Communications, Eticon, The Civility Company and The Civility Group are just a few participants. A great way to judge the potential growth of a new business is to check with Network Solutions, Inc. on domain name speculation. They show the following as "taken":

civility101.com
civilityassociates.com
civilitybowling.com
civilityburns.com
civility-by-george.com
civilitybymail.com
civility-center.com
civilitycenter.com
civilitycenter.org
civility.com
civility-consultants.com
civilitydesign.com
civilityforum.com
civilityguides.com
civilityidiversityimanners.net
civility.info
civility-institute.com
civilityinstitute.org
civilityinthestreets.com
civilitymatters.com
civility.net
civilitynetworks.com
civilitynetworks.net
civilityoftheyear.com
civilityonline.com
civilityonthestreets.com
civility.orgcivilityoutbreak.com
civilitypoll.com
civilitypress.com
civilityproject.com
civilityproject.org
civilityrules.com
civilityspa.com
civilitystudio.com
civilitystyle.com
civilityunleashed.com
civilitywithoutborders.com
civilitywithoutborders.net
civilityworks.com

I have no idea how many of these are active. But some folks believe there�s a fair chance they all will be.

The criticality of civil relations in confrontational situations is almost wholeheartedly conceptually embraced by business and professional leaders, with even disobedience recommended as "civil." We have civil procedure, civil litigation, civil disturbances, even civil wars. (Don�t all reach for your keyboards to remind me that here the word is used in a different adjective sense.) We have the civil division of court, civil rights, civil engineering and the civil service. We of the civilized world use the word a lot. But talking isn�t walking.

Bob Pladek is the normally civil Special Sections Editor for New Jersey Lawyer. This article is reprinted with their permission, which wasn�t overly begrudgingly given. Bob�s views, thankfully, are entirely his own. Send a nice note to him at Robert.pladek@njlnews.com

Song of the Month: That's Litigation!
by Dan Klau

Available on The Billable Hour Blues
(To the tune of "That�s Entertainment")
(Original music and lyrics by Arthur Schwartz and Howard Dietz)

The perp, who�s the client from hell.
But who cares, �cause his money is swell.
While he does time, you�ll write your own "kiss and tell."
That�s litigation!

The judge, who can�t make up his mind,
The eyewitness, who turns out to be blind,
The hung jury, can�t get out of its bind.
That�s litigation!

The man on the stand who just lies through his teeth.
The judge wearing robes but nothing underneath.
What will the jury bequeath?
By the time the trial�s over, you�ll be pushing up clover.

The case, that just won�t go away.
It�s been yours, for ten years everyday.
Will it end? Not if the client will pay.

The court is a stage, lawsuits are the rage.
That�s litigation!

Poeticus Lex: Lawyer's Lament (A Work of Fiction)
by Fred C. Russcol, Esq.
My clients all are pure of heart,
My motions are like works of art,
My claims are strong in law and fact,
My research cannot be attacked;
So how can judges go astray
And decide a case the other way?

In retrospect, I should have shrunk
From uttering the phrase "slam dunk"
(George Tenet used it, and now to our shock-
We�re between a hard place and Iraq!)
It may perhaps have increased my
Client�s hopes a bit too high.

My motivation could not have been purer
But I should alert my malpractice insurer.

Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in White Plains, New York. This poem was originally printed in the Westchester Bar Journal and is reprinted with the permission of the Westchester County Bar Association.

February 2007

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 10:07:49 -0800

CDs for JDs: Soundtrack of the Legal Life Available From The Billable Hour Company
Having trouble figuring out what music to play in the background as you bang out that brief? Looking for some songs to psych you up on the way to court? We have the answer to these interrogatories in our new music store featuring CDs by and for members of the legal profession.

The Bar & Grill Singers are a group of practicing attorneys in Austin, Texas. On their three CDs�A Time to Grill, Grilling Me Softly and Licensed to Grill�they blend layered vocal harmonies with topics ranging from lifetime judicial appointments ("Appointed Forever") to somnambulant factfinders ("The Jury Sleeps Upright").

West Virginia lawyer Bob Noone�along with with his group, The Well Hung Jury�covers a lot of ground on his two featured albums, Wingtips Optional and Second Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer�s Soul, tackling everything from legal education ("Fifty Ways to Get Through Law School") to lawyer advertising ("Bring Your Case Here to Me") and more. A wacky, high-energy performance is captured on the group's DVD, Bob Noone & The Well Hung Jury Live at the Greenbrier Resort.

Both groups perform in a wide range of musical styles, from swing (Noone�s "Lawsuit Riot") to 80�s pop (Bar & Grill�s "I�m Billing Time"), R&B (Noone�s "My Will") to do-wop (Bar & Grill�s "Mr. Foreman").

We chose these groups to inagurate our musical offerings because�as we're sure you'll agree�their songs are simply hilarious. The CDS also feature tight arrangements and high production values.

The Billable Hour Music Store is at www.TheBillableHour.com/music.php.

On its First Anniversary, The Timesheet Introduces New Features, Retires an Old One
We're proud to announce that The Timesheet is one year old this month! The Timesheet�and our company�have both come a long way in the past year.

When we launched The Timesheet in February 2006, our products included only our unique watches and clocks marked in six-minute increments. We have experienced explosive growth since then, and now offer personal accessories (including the Original Pocket Briefcase and Soft Sided Leather Pocket Briefcase); greeting cards (including the Stu's Views, Poetic Justice, Lawyers in Love and AttorneyMan lines); humorous CDs and DVDs by and for lawyers; office accessories (including Slam-A-Gavel, Sign & Seal, Comic Block, Buddha Board and Mini Buddha Board); and custom logo timepieces. We've even launched a Luxury Line featuring a 14k gold version of our popular Classic Watch model.

The Timesheet�which is featured as a quality of life resource by the ABA GP|Solo Division�has also changed over the past year. First Sean Carter, then Bob Pladek, joined as our regular humor columnists. Bob's cartoon, Juris Comic, joined Stu's Views in the humorous legal cartoons category. Last month, Julie Fleming Brown took over from Cheryl Stephens as our regular work/life balance columnist.

This month, we are inagurating two new features. The Song of the Month will feature the lyrics of one of the songs available in our Music Store, along with a sample of the song. We are pleased to welcome Fred C. Russcol, Esq., an accomplished lawyer and poet whose poems will be featured in our Poeticus Lex column. Finally, we're saying goodbye to our Book of the Month feature (although you can always find a list of books addressing work/life balance and related topics at our resources page).

Sustainability
by Julie Fleming Brown

I burn my candle at both ends
It will not last the night.
But ah my foes and oh my friends
It gives a lovely light.
Edna St. Vincent Millay

What do you think when you read this? If you�re like many lawyers, you felt a flutter of recognition �perhaps just before you recoiled at the idea that, perhaps, your candle won�t "last the night." It�s just the weak who can�t burn and burn and burn, right?

Sustainability isn�t a sexy word, and most of us don�t see it as something to aim for. After all, we tend to want bigger and better and more, not homeostasis. What does it mean, though, to have a "sustainable practice"?

According to Merriam-Webster, "to sustain" means (among other things) "to supply with sustenance: nourish" and "to keep up, prolong." And sustainable means, of course, "capable of being sustained" or "of or relating to a lifestyle involving the use of sustainable methods."

How do you nourish your practice? How does your lifestyle support you in keeping up and prolonging your practice? Ideas that occur to me (aside from the standard work less and play more, which is easy to say and very difficult to do):

1. Discover what�s meaningful to you and focus your attention and practice on that. If it�s client service, you will draw a strength and energy from serving your clients that someone who�s in practice because of the intellectual stimulation won�t experience. Connecting to what matters to you illuminates your purpose. Having a purpose nourishes your practice.

2. Delegate. If you can identify aspects of practice that you personally don�t have to fulfill, you�ll increase your energy by passing it along to someone who can handle it. If you find yourself thinking that you�ll spend less time doing it (whatever it is) than teaching someone else to do it, consider whether you�ll save time over the long run if you turn it over, even if it requires an investment of time now.

3. Connect. If you enjoy socializing, make sure you have a group of lawyers you join for lunch or drinks or a volleyball game on a regular basis. You�ll increase social contact, have a group of colleagues to use as sounding boards, build a resource for giving and getting referrals, and more. You can even do this online, but consider whether you�d get more out of interacting with flesh and blood colleagues.

4. Notice how your body feels when you have adequate sleep, nutrition, and exercise. Just notice. If your noticing convinces you that you feel better and have more energy, consider what to do with that knowledge.

5. Develop discipline. You can put a schedule in place that will support you. Plan time when you put your calls on hold and get concentrated work done. Set time aside for meeting with your support staff, the lawyers you supervise, and those who supervise you.

6. Take time for outside interests. Hike, read, act, whatever . . . . But don�t allow yourself to be one-dimensional.

7. Do you live on adrenaline and caffeine? If so, chances are that you�re running from crisis to crisis. Ask yourself whether there�s a way to limit the crunches to times when there�s really a crisis. What feels good about putting out fires? Spending some time resolving this will provide support for making changes that leave you working on a non-emergency basis, which facilitates having more energy. Adrenaline and caffeine are great, but they�re hardly the key to a sustainable practice or life.

8. Set aside time to check your progress on these and other habits that support you and your practice. Because it�s easy to get sucked into a hectic schedule (with your candle burning not only at both ends but in the middle, too), arrange a relationship that will hold you accountable to whatever adjustments you may decide to make. Consider whether coaching might be the appropriate relationship.

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Announcing Lawyer in Love Greeting Cards, Just in time for Valentine's Day
The Billable Hour Company has teamed with LawyersinLove.com�the only online matchmaking site catering expressly to the interests and busy schedules of lawyers, law students, and legal professionals�to launch a new Lawyers in Love greeting card line, just in time for Valentine�s Day. Here are just a few of our favorites:

Suggested inside text: Who says lawyers aren't romantic?

As with all of our cards, you can write a special message on the inside, to be printed in any of eight different fonts and 131 ink colors. You can also upload a signature or logo to appear underneath the message, as well as a photograph (which will be printed on the card�s inside left panel). At each stage, you can preview your card on the screen before proceeding. Don't worry about running late: you can elect to have cards shipped to you, or mailed directly to the object of yor affection, with a "Love" stamp.

For more Lawyers in Love greeting cards, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Call Me Ishmael
by Sean Carter

Recently, I had an experience that reminded me of Herman Melville�s classic novel Moby Dick. Sadly, I found myself cast in the role of Ishmael. And just like Ishmael, I got much more than I bargained for. Let me explain.

Ever since leaving my cushy job as in-house counsel at a public company, I�ve found myself sailing the "high seas" of self-employment looking for a "big fish" to hook�my own Moby Dick. As a lawyer, public speaker, writer and sometimes squeegee operator, I�ve found myself wistfully daydreaming about landing THE client�the Fortune 500 company that burns through money like the federal government . . . or even better, my wife.

Well, as luck (bad luck) would have it, I did just that last year. In fact, I didn�t just land one big fish; I landed three of them. Each of these companies was a household name and combined, they had a net worth almost equal to Oprah Winfrey�s. I just knew that I would never have another financial worry for the rest of my life.

Of course, as it turned out, I couldn�t have been more wrong if I bet on the white guy in a boxing match. In hindsight, I should have known that something was wrong when the first client sent over its standard vendor form, which contained more boxes than a UPS loading dock during the holiday season. And it wasn�t just the amount of information, but the fact that some of it is what I would consider "personal." Now, don�t get me wrong. I understand the need to know the state(s) in which I�m licensed to practice law and my social security number, but did they really need to know my blood type and the history of mental illness in my family? After all, my wife didn�t even ask these questions before we were married; something I�m sure she regrets now.

As it turned it, this was the easiest of the three clients to "hook." The other two clients had decision-making processes that make the Supreme Court seem rash by comparison. They had committees upon committees upon committees, none of them quite trusting the other. As a result, I�d often receive calls from my company contact saying things like, "Well, Sean, things are looking really good. Your references check out and your doctor says that case of cooties from the sixth grade cleared up nicely. Once we hear back from the Cost Containment Department, which is doing an industry-wide survey on fees to see if your fee is in line, we�ll call you back and start the ball rolling with the Purchasing Department."

However, in the end, persistence (and handsome bribes to my references) paid off. I was able to reap the benefits of having "big-time" clients, one of which is to be able to casually drop their names in conversation at local bar events. "Well, Jim, I�d love to hang around and hear more about your deposition tomorrow, but I have to go home and pack. I�m speaking for Global Steel Company in Switzerland in the morning. Perhaps, we can talk again next month when I return from the Mega Conglomerate event in Maui."

For a while, life was great. That is, until it came time to attempt to collect money from these clients. Now, don�t get me wrong. As a former solo practitioner, I�ve become accustomed to chasing down clients for money. However, in most cases, this occurs because they simply don�t have the money to pay me. And since you can�t get blood from a turnip (and trust me, I�ve tried), I see it as an inevitable cost of doing business.

However, in this case, my clients had money to burn. For example, one client made a point of making me sit through a presentation in which a corporate vice president happily explained that the company had a cash position of $2 billion. After spending three months trying to collect a fee of roughly one-millionth of that amount, it became apparent how they were able to attain this feat�they never paid their bills; at least, not in the year they were incurred.

After hounding another client for several weeks about an unpaid invoice, I received an excited call informing me that a check had just been cut that morning and that I should expect to receive it in . . . get this . . . the next 45 days. Apparently, this company didn�t believe in Federal Express. Instead, it must have relied on the Pony Express to deliver its mail. In the end, I learned that the old adage is really true�"The bigger they are, they slower they pay."

I also learned that landing the big client isn�t all that it�s cracked up to be. It requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to force your family to eat Top Ramen noodles for several weeks while waiting for the Pony Express to arrive. On the other hand, the big client can serve as a great excuse to get out of hearing another lawyer�s war stories at a bar event. That alone may be worth all the aggravation.

More Legal Humor from Consortium: the Journal of Legal Nonsense
Although we like to think we have the legal humor market cornered, the fact is that there are enough absurdities in legal education and practice to fill more than one publication. That's why we're happy to tell you about Consortium: the Journal of Legal Nonsense.

Consortium avoids legal precedents, pivotal cases, and high-minded legal theory. Instead, it discusses the social interactions and professional lives of lawyers and law students in a lighthearted manner.

Consortium is the brainchild of Pete Holiday, a law student at Indiana University School of Law-Bloomington, and Charlsie Paine, a recent graduate of the University of Georgia School of Law.

The law students and lawyers who write weblogs were the inspiration for Holiday and Paine, who also serve as Consortium�s editors. "There are all sorts of great writers saying funny, insightful things on their blogs," explains Holiday, "and we thought that, if we could condense even a small fraction of that down into a regular publication, it would be fantastic."

In another departure from traditional law journals�which eschew images in favor of densely-packed text�Consortium is visually striking, from its landscape format layout to its use of color and imagery. "As much as I love what a yellow highlighter can do for black and white text, sometimes I just have to let loose and remember there is more to life than black, white and neon shades of gray," Paine muses thoughtfully.

The inagural issue of Consortium is on the web at www.ConsortiumJournal.org. Readers can subscribe to Consortium at www.ConsortiumJournal.org/rss.php.

So check out Consortium (and look for our ad with a coupon for a free song download just for Consortium readers) today!

Juris Comic

The Blight of the Cows
by Robert Pladek
It�s no surprise eminent domain is becoming a bigger and bigger deal in America, especially in urban settings�therefore especially in New Jersey�where developers claim the only way to put up something new in a city is to tear down something else bought at an artificially distressed price, courtesy of the local government.

Governments typically claim they�re looking for tax revenue�the veiled threat being that but-for-development, resident property taxes will have to rise from the current, absurd level to a new obscene one. Whether, when the tax breaks afforded the developer, various local government trips to Bali for due diligence on the developer and "thank you" jobs for retiring town officials are all accounted for, the new development will generate as much revenue as the blight-claimed, underdeveloped-claimed, nasty-looking-claimed current abodes of the displaced, is still a good question.

We Jerseyans have another eminent domain case that�s trudged its way to our Supreme Court: Gallenthin Realty Development, Inc. v. Borough of Paulsboro, Appellate Division, A-6941-03T1, and A-222-04T1. Supposedly the court will give some better definition of the word "blight."

This time the property in question is undeveloped. Those of you who live in North Jersey may remember pictures of that from history books. Paulsboro has at least 63 acres of it, on the Delaware River, across from Philadelphia International Airport. Paulsboro and the developer who hopes to utilize it both believe it to be "underdeveloped." The owner thinks it just doesn�t have any buildings. They have grown a little cow feed, and there haven�t been any complaints from the cows. In fact, they appear content. But cows aren�t responsible for paying taxes�a fact that makes them especially suspect and vulnerable. Moreover, they are notorious for their lack of political clout, being significantly ignored by their elected fat cow brothers and sisters.

Local government power is the real issue here, notwithstanding all the yak about the state�s constitutional provisions, the 15-year-old Local Redevelopment and Housing Law and blight definitions. Consider that two months ago the New Jersey Supreme Court said towns can use eminent domain powers to preserve open space, regardless of motive.

Developers in Gallenthin think, quite naturally, that if the locals can use it to preserve it, they sure as heck oughta be able to use it to un-preserve it.

James Maley Jr. of Maley & Associates in Collingswood, who represents Paulsboro, says it�s entirely possible to declare land in need of redevelopment solely because it is not fully productive or does not add economic benefit to an area.

Peter D. Dickson of Potter & Dickson in Princeton, representing the landowners, puts the matter differently: If a local government can declare pure "land" underdeveloped, every park, the wetlands�any natural virgin parcel�is fair game.

While the court struggles with this balancing act, the legislature had better pay attention as well: If property can be deemed to be in need of "redevelopment" simply because it is not fully productive, the statehouse could easily be torn down and replaced with a Walmart, which, in addition to generating jobs (albeit healthcare-less, bloated pension-less ones), would justify Trenton�s downtown traffic situation.

Bob Pladek is Special Sections Editor for New Jersey Lawyer. This article is reprinted with their permission, which wasn't overly begrudgingly given. Bob's views, thankfully, are entirely his own. You can reach him at Robert.pladek@njlnews.com.

Song of the Month: It's in His Briefs
by the Bar & Grill Singers

(sample)
Available on A Time to Grill

Does your lawyer know what to do?
How can you tell if he�s right for you?
Is it in his fee?
Oh, no you�ll be deceived
In his law degree?
Oh, that�s no specialty

[CHORUS]
If you wanna show what your lawyer knows
It�s in his briefs
That�s where it is, oh yeah
It�s in his briefs
That�s where it is

Oh, is it in his face?
Oh, no that�s just his charm
Maybe his briefcase?
Oh, no he�ll do you harm

[CHORUS]

Quiz him, and ask him nice
To find out what your lawyer knows
If his stuff�s what he says it is
It�s there in his briefs

How �bout the way he acts?
Oh, no that�s not the way
And you�re not list�nen to what I say

[CHORUS]

Quiz him, and ask him nice
To find out what your lawyer knows
If his stuff�s what he says it is
It�s there in his briefs

How �bout the way he acts?
Oh, no that�s not the way
And you�re not list�nen to what I say

[CHORUS]

Poeticus Lex: A Lawyer's Love Poem
by Fred C. Russcol, Esq.
WHEREFORE, I hereby represent
I think that you were heaven-sent;
WHEREFORE, each time I see your face,
My cardiovascular system starts to race;
WHEREFORE, upon information and belief, you too
Hold a reciprocal point of view.

NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration
Of the forthwith presentation
Of a diamond ring without flaw
(Valuable as a matter of law)
With color pure and significant size
(Carats are known to be good for the ayes!)
Please be advised I�m prepared to pursue
The subject of a merger with you.

I submit I�m a desirable choice as a mate-
Licensed to practice across New York State;
I�ve never been in significant trouble
(See my listing in Martindale-Hubbell�¹�
Throughout the time that we�ve been dating,
I have maintained an AV rating!)
Our union would be sure to please
Although I make no warranties.²
Despite some privacy concerns,
I�d be willing to file joint tax returns;
Though I couldn�t allow you to access my files,
I�d like you to "second chair" in all of life�s trials.
(Of course, for status quo preservation,
A prenuptial agreement is in preparation.)
And in time we might attempt the production
Of a little tax deduction.³

If you concur, signify in this way:
Countersign and return by close of business today.⁴

¹A registered trademark of Reed Elsevier Properties Inc.

²I disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including the warranty of fitness for a particular purpose and the warranty of co-habitability.

³This suggestion does not constitute an offer to procreate, but merely an indication that the author would be willing to discuss this matter at a later date, and considers that this indication of willingness (and the "sensitive" proclivities revealed thereby) may serve as a significant inducement to a favorable inclination toward the proposition outlined above.

⁴The author reserves the right to withdraw this proposition at any time, without prior notice.

Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in White Plains, New York.

January 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 08:31:50 -0800

Billable Hour^� Luxury Line Watches Now Available
Last month, we told you that we would soon be introducing a line of luxury timepieces and fine jewelry featuring the patent-pending Billable Hour� dial. As reported in New York Newsday (Long Island Edition), the Luxury Line launched in mid-December.

We currently offer a Luxury Line version of our Classic model. The Luxury Classic model features a 14 carat gold Italian-made one piece case with a sapphire crown and a scratch resistant crystal, housing a Geneva Swiss movement. The strap is black padded lizard-grain leather. This men's size watch has a 25mm dial and is presented in a polished woodgrain box with a leather pillow. read more

Julie Fleming Brown Joins as Regular Timesheet Work/Life Balance Columnist
We are pleased to announce that Julie Fleming Brown is now The Timesheet's regular work/life balance columnist.

Regular readers know Julie from her articles in The Advance Sheet�our occasional supplement to The Timesheet�as well as from her stint as guest columnist in last month's issue. When she's not writing for The Timesheet, Julie provides professional and personal coaching for lawyers on topics such as client and professional development, job searches, career transitions, and work/life balance. read more

Passing up Good for Great
by Julie Fleming Brown
There's a key skill for balancing work and life, and it's one that doesn't come naturally to many of us. Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time For Your Life and Stand Up For Your Life (among others) calls it "passing up good for great."

As children, we're taught the old saw that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. While that�s a valid saying under some circumstances�when we have something that�s perfectly good but are tempted to get greedy and to try for more�it can also be a limiting belief that actually does us harm. Sometimes, we need to release the bird already in hand so that both hands are free to grab the two in the bush. read more

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Networking is Notworking for Me
by Sean Carter
As a self-described "legal marketing guru," I recently decided to practice what I preach and attend a networking event after giving a speech in Atlanta. As a general matter, I avoid mixers and cocktail receptions as if they were one of my wife's family reunions. Now, I must confess that my dislike of these events largely stems from the fact that I am the world's worst networker. read more

More Great New Products Coming Soon!

Here at The Billable Hour^� Company, we have big plans for the new year. This month, we'll be introducing a Lawyers in Love greeting card line, featuring Lady J, the symbol of LawyersinLove.com, an internet matchmaking service just for lawyers and other legal professionals. Keep your eyes peeled for more additions to our Poetic Justice line, featuring haiku and senryu by David Giacalone, lawyer/poet and author of f/k/a, recipient of the Blawg Review 2005 Creative Law Blog Award. And we have another (top secret, for now) greeting card line in the works.

We're expanding our product line as well. read more

Book of the Month: Beyond the Bottom Line: The Search for Dignity at Work

Although Beyond the Bottom Line isn't focused specifically on law firms, its analysis nevertheless illuminates much of the malaise in the legal industry. From the book's inside flap:

Why, at a time of unprecedented national prosperity, do so many Americans feel that their live are less than they could be? Any why do so many Americans�working harder and longer and with less security than ever before�question the price of success demanded by today's hot-wired economy?
Can you work and still have a life? read more

October 2006

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 09:26:34 -0700

The Billable Hour Company Wants You!

We knew it would be a big hit, and it is: The Billable Hour Card Store�the world's only online greeting card store featuring humorous and customizable printed greeting cards especially for legal professionals�is off to a great start.

But we need your help to make the card store even better. read more

The Inner Life: Listen to Yourself for a Change
by Cheryl Stephens
Do you ever allow yourself the luxury of an internal conversation? Is there any quiet time in your schedule? In addition to taking the 90-second opportunities that arise in a normal day, set aside an hour on your calendar to keep to yourself.

Everyone needs time for reflection, and if you do not take that time you will begin to forget who you are and what you stand for. Events will sweep you away and you will lose your bearings. read more

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

The Five Stages of Unemployment
by Sean Carter
Monday started much like every other day for me�at about noon. After taking care of some urgent business (watching the latest Desperate Housewives DVD with my wife), I was ready to tackle my day, or what was left of it. It was then that I received "The Call." read more

How To Grab the Attention of Your Clients and Colleagues

(From Creating Passionate Users)

A few weeks ago, over at a blog called Creating Passionate Users, Kathy Sierra wrote a great post about what it takes to get someone's attention these days, in the face of thousands of potential distractions. She summarized her thoughts in two words: "Be provocative." read more

The Advance Sheet Will Return this Month With New Special Offers
The Advance Sheet took a bit of a hiatus in September while we launched the Billable Hour Card Store. (Lisa also spent two weeks sitting on a jury in a criminal securities fraud cause in the Southern District of New York.) Never fear, though: The Advance Sheet will be back in October with new articles and special offers! read more

Book of the Month: Winning Alternatives to the Billable Hour: Strategies That Work (2nd edition)

Although (for obvious reasons) we're big fans of the concept of the billable hour, not everyone is. There's no better, more practical, primer on the various types of fee arrangements lawyers can use than Winning Alternatives to the Billable Hour: Strategies That Work (2nd edition), written by law practice management gurus Jim Calloway and Mark Robertson. read more

August 2006

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 08:39:46 -0700

Custom Logo Timepiece Sale: Catch it Before it's Gone!
Time seems to move as slow as molasses on the hot, sticky dog days that have blanketed the country for the past few weeks. Yet, when Labor Day rolls around, everyone marvels at how quickly the summer went.

That's why we want to remind you that the 15% off sale on our unique Billable Hour Custom Logo Timepieces runs only through Labor Day. read more

Feature Article: Work/Life Balance? Let's Get Flexible First
The future lies in building a firm that recognizes the value of skills and knowledge and treats staff as a valuable asset. Recruitment and retention of valued staff require that the law firm provide and improve work-lifestyle benefits and services, leave benefits, supportive work environments, and alternative work arrangements and schedules. Law firms must now accept alternatives to the 60-hour work week and rigid schedules and place constraints. read more

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Humor: Lawghter is the Best Medicine
Even in the best of times, the practice of law can be stressful. The constant pressure to bill hours, meet deadlines, and acquire new business can take its toll. It�s no wonder that, as a profession, we suffer among the highest instances of divorce, substance abuse and being shot in the face by the Vice President. In short, stress (not to mention Cheney�s poor aim) are literally killing us.

So how do we fight stress? By taking to heart the old adage that "laughter is the best medicine." Of course, this adage was penned long before the advent of antibiotics, laser surgery and Viagra, so it may be somewhat outdated. Nevertheless, there is much truth to the proposition that laughter has a beneficial effect on one�s health. read more

Audio Interview: Simon Tupman, Author of Why Lawyers Should Eat Bananas
Lawyers in the United States aren't the only ones concerned with the billable hour and its effects on their lives: attorneys the world over seek work/life balance. Recently, Australian speaker, author and coach Simon Tupman talked to The Billable Hour Company about work/life balance and answered the burning question: "Why should lawyers eat bananas?"

Simon Tupman interview

You can order Why Lawyers Should Eat Bananas from Simon's website at www.LawyersWithALife.com.

Oddservations: What the Coffee Pot Saw
This coffee plunges into the stomach . . . the mind is aroused, and ideas pour forth like the battalions of the Grand Army on the field of battle . . . . Memories charge at full gallop . . . the light cavalry of comparisons deploys itself magnificently; the artillery of logic hurry in with their train of ammunition; flashes of wit pop up like sharp-shooters. ~Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

Holy scamoley. Apparently I�ve been drinking the wrong kind for years. As have most of the CEOs I�ve worked for.

The issue today, yesterday and no doubt tomorrow is this: who keeps leaving the coffee pot one-quarter-full-three-quarters empty?

Video: Crackberry Blackberry
We all know lawyers who are addicted to their Blackberries. Now there's a cure:

Book of the Month Redux: The Billable Hour Re-evaluates Anonymous Lawyer: A Novel

Last month, we compiled a number of reviews of Anonymous Lawyer: A Novel. Based on early reviews from some well-known bloggers, we concluded that the majority of reviewers had given the book a thumbs-down.

After reading our piece, the book's author, Jeremy Blachman, drew our attention to a number of reviews we hadn't mentioned in our piece and asked us to correct the record. We agreed. read more

Humor: Much Swearing Necessary at Closings
A title closing used to be a simple thing that required no more than an exchange of a deed for a check. The whole thing took about as long as a haircut, and involved about the same number of people. Now haircuts have become much more complicated, and so have closings.

First came the requirement to fill out a RESPA statement. RESPA is an acronym that stands for Redundant and Excessive Paperwork Act. ERISA is an acronym too, but I don't know what it stands for or means. (I used to think that FICA was an acronym, too. Then I found out that Tony Fica was a computer clerk for Congress. He wrote the FICA deduction into an obscure federal appropriations bill for the construction of sewage plants, and now he sits on the beach in Pago Pago collecting all of our FICA deductions.) I wish I could enlighten you on where all the complete RESPA forms go, but I guess we should all rejoice that an army of clerks has not been hired to read them all and send them back for corrections. read more

July 2006

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 10:32:38 -0700

Announcing Billable Hour^TM Custom Logo Timepieces
The Billable Hour Company proudly presents Custom Logo Timepieces, specially fabricated with your full-color logo on our unique, patent-pending dial. Imagine it: recipients think of you every time they check the time.

To celebrate the introduction of our new line, all Custom Logo watches and clocks are on sale through Labor Day. Now it really is better to give than to receive.

Feature Article: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the Law Office
Lawyers are skilled charmers. They have to be persuasive and diplomatic to get clients, make legal arguments effectively, and network in the community and so on. Whether the face that a lawyer presents outside the office is a genuine expression of true self or a fa�ade developed for business advantage is largely dependent on the individual's personality. read more

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Humor: Home Office Blues
A wise man once said, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." I wish that wise man had been around during the early years of my career when I desperately wanted to go solo. While working at two major law firms and a large corporation, I would lie awake dreaming of the solo life�setting my own hours, choosing my own clients, and not answering to anyone (except, of course, my wife). Well, four years ago, my dream turned into a reality; just not the reality I had envisioned. read more

Did you Catch it? Advance Sheet Special Offers
In last month's Timesheet, we let you in on a little secret: some issues of The Advance Sheet, our occasional supplement to The Timsheet featuring a single legal humor or work/life balance article, would contain special limited-time offers on Billable Hour^TM timepieces. In the June 16 issue of The Advance Sheet, we offered 10% off to the first 10 customers to place an order using a special coupon code. read more

Oddservations: Brevity is Soul of Wit, er, Opening Statements
"If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it." ~Tom Lehrer

Judges tend to give lawyers a lot of leeway (ramble time) in constructing and delivering opening statements, as long as they don�t swear the evidence will prove their case (but they can strongly contend it will), don�t engage in personal attacks, and don�t explain the law. If the case is serious and complicated, judges will give even more leeway. read more

Cartoon: Juris Comic
To view Juris Comic, click here

Book of the Month: Anonymous Lawyer: A Novel

Although Anonymous Lawyer : A Novel won't be on the shelves until July 25, it's already garnered a number of reviews by bloggers who received advance copies. read more

Humor: The "You Call This Living?" Will
Clients have been demanding living wills recently, despite the fact that a living will bit one of them when he took it home. Lawyers who do not wish to reinvent the wheel (because there is already a patent on it, so what�s the point?) can use this handy sample living will, which we call the "You call this living?" Will, to distinguish it from our other living will (which is called "Living Will is the Best Revenge"). read more

June 2006

Tue, 23 May 2006 11:07:27 -0700

Cartoonist Stu Rees and Cartoonist/Humorist Bob Pladek Join The Timesheet
Continuing our campaign to promote work/life balance for lawyers through humor, we are pleased to announce the addition of two new regular contributors�cartoonist Stu Rees and cartoonist/author Bob Pladek�to The Timesheet. read more

Podcasts, E-Mail Subscriptions, Added to The Billable Hour Resources Page
Back in April, we announced the launch of the Billable Hour Resources Page, a compendium of links to books, articles, studies and reports, and blog posts discussing the billable hour and related subjects such as client service, value billing and work/life balance. Since then, we have added podcasts to our resources mix. read more

New RSS Feeds for The Timesheet and The Billable Hour Resources Page
Because we had some trouble with our old RSS publishing software, we have moved our feeds for both The Timesheet and the Resources Page. So, if you subscribed to either feed before May 1, please subscribe to the new feed . . . . read more

Feature Article: In Search of Quality
When your time is spread too thin, you are juggling too many duties, and you feel like you are walking a tight rope, do you want to hear somebody tell you that what you need is more quality in your life and a search for excellence?

No? Well, too bad. That is just what you need and I am here to tell you. read more

Cartoon: Stu's Views

Humor: If You Can't Beat 'em, Bill em!
Over the years, I�ve learned that there are certain things that should not be questioned, such as the meaning of life, how buying things we don�t need "on sale" actually saves us money, or why my mother-in-law needs to visit so often (or ever, for that matter). I also should have known better than to question why my cell phone bill for the last month was $267.78. Yet, curiosity got the better of me and I made the mistake of actually looking at the bill. read more

Watch The Advance Sheet for Special Limited-Time Offers
The Advance Sheet, our occasional supplement to The Timsheet, features a single legal humor or work/life balance article. The Advance Sheet is not posted on The Billable Hour Company's website; it's sent only to our customers and Timesheet subscribers.

Now, some issues of The Advance Sheet will also feature special limited-time offers on Billable Hour^TM timepieces. read more

Oddservations: Hi-Tech and the Future of Legal Gigs
You know the old, not-especially-funny joke: "How many lawyers does it take to plug in a computer?" Answer, three: One to read the manual, one who didn�t read the manual to argue with the one who did about what it means, and one to convince both they should wait for the next generation of equipment. read more

Cartoon: Juris Comic

Book of the Month: Double Billing: A Young Lawyer's Tale of Greed, Sex, Lies, and the Pursuit of a Swivel Chair
The last two books we featured, (The Firm of the Future: A Guide for Accountants, Lawyers, and Other Professional Services and Transforming Practices: Finding Joy and Satisfaction in the Legal Life) are pretty serious stuff. We thought it was time to feature something lighter. read more

Daily Legal Toon
click here to view the Daily Legal Toon

Humor: If You Can't Sue Yourself, Who Can You Sue?
The headline "Client Sues Herself; Lawyer Criticized" appeared in the New York Law Journal for May 20, 2002 in the third column below the fold. read more

May 2006

Thu, 11 May 2006 11:17:03 -0700

Enter Our Billable Hours^TM Around the World Contest
When we launched The Billable Hour^TM Company in November 2005, we knew we'd hit a nerve with lawyers in the United States, but we never expected to become an international sensation. read more

Advice to Law School Graduates
by Mark Solomon
About a year after graduating from law school, I was invited to dinner by one of my former professors. A discussion of my experiences as a student was inevitable, and we discovered a fundamental schism in our assessment of legal education. read more

Feature Article: Make Your Dreams Come True: A step-by-step planning guide
by Cheryl Stephens
Step One: Excavate Your True Desire

Seek solitude in order to focus your attention on your dream and to make it specific.
Keep your eyes open�you never know where inspiration will strike.
Commit your dream to paper: another way of focusing your attention.
Ask yourself some questions: examine your motives for wanting what you want. Maybe you really want something slightly different.
Make a decision: don�t get stuck in evaluating your options; go with your gut. read more

Daily Legal Toon
click here to view the Daily Legal Toon

Humor: A Taxing Disclaimer
by Sean Carter
Recently, I received an e-mail from a tax lawyer who reads my weekly humor column. At the bottom of this e-mail, I found the following disclaimer:

IRS CIRCULAR 230 NOTICE: To ensure compliance with requirements imposed by the IRS, we inform you that any U.S. tax advice contained in this communication (or in any attachment) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed in this communication (or in any attachment).

Upon reading this disclaimer, my first thought was: "How does agreeing that I�m a brilliant humorist constitute tax advice?" This thought was quickly followed by: "Never hire this guy as my tax attorney!" read more

Humor: Gullibul's Travails
by James Rose
Daniel D. Gullibul, (born of the cusp of Capricorn), who once suffered from the delusion that Elvis was impersonating him, called a 900 area code telephone number he saw on cable television for the purpose of obtaining a personal horoscope from Claire Voiant of The Psychic Boiler Room, a show on the Phrenology, Astrology, Tarot, and Spiritualism Information and Entertainment (PATSIE) Network. read more

Congratulations to Our April Fools Drawing Winners
Everyone who purchased a Billable Hour^TM timepeice between February 15 and April 1 was automatically entered to win a copy of Sean Carter's bookIf It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit? Your Humorous Guide to the Law. Our three luck winners of the April Fools Drawing are: read more

Book of the Month: Transforming Practices: Finding Joy and Satisfaction in the Legal Life
The publisher writes: Spirituality and law practice may sound like an oxymoron, but a quiet quest to find deeper meaning in life and work as a lawyer and to cure the ailments of today's cutthroat law firm environment is well underfoot within the legal community. Transforming Practices: Finding Joy and Satisfaction in the Legal Life is the first book to explore this movement toward bringing one's soul to the practice of law and returning to lawyering from a healing perspective, rather than an adversarial one. read more